Lessons from Both Sides of the Couch

As therapists, people often assume we have it all figured out when it comes to mental health. But the truth is, just like anyone else, I have my own struggles, blind spots, moments when I need grace, and moments when I need support. Therapy isn’t just something I offer to others—it’s something that has been transformative in my own life. Here are some lessons I’ve learned:

Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations of Others

As someone who often holds space for others, I used to expect a lot from the people in my personal life. It wasn’t that I wanted perfection, but I would expect the same effort and intentionality from people.

Through my own work in therapy, I’ve learned to communicate my needs clearly and to approach relationships with more grace and understanding. People aren’t mind readers, and it’s okay to express what you need. It’s also okay to accept that not everyone will meet your expectations, and that doesn’t make them—or you—any less worthy of love and connection.

I Deserve a Secure Relationship. And That Isn’t Asking for Much.

One of the most transformative realizations I’ve had in therapy is that I deserve a secure relationship. As therapists, we often talk about attachment styles with our clients, helping them understand their patterns and how those patterns play out in relationships. But applying that knowledge to myself was an entirely different story.

Therapy gave me the tools to identify and challenge the narratives I had internalized about relationships—narratives that told me that my needs were “too much.” Through this work, I’ve come to understand that a secure relationship is not only possible but also something I’m worthy of. This doesn’t mean relationships are without challenges, but a secure partnership is built on mutual respect, trust, and emotional safety.

The Power of Somatic Therapy

As a therapist, I was well-versed in the power of talk therapy. But it wasn’t until I began exploring somatic therapy that I realized how much my body was holding onto unprocessed emotions and stress.

Somatic therapy focuses on the connection between the mind and body, helping you tune into physical sensations and release stored tension. For me, it was a game-changer. I had spent so much time analyzing my thoughts and feelings that I hadn’t noticed the toll they were taking on my body.

Through practices like grounding exercises, breathwork, and body awareness, I’ve learned to recognize when I’m holding stress in my shoulders or clenching my jaw. These insights have not

only helped me feel more in tune with myself but have also deepened the way I work with my

clients. It’s a reminder that healing isn’t just about what we think—it’s also about what we feel,

physically and emotionally.

Therapists Are Human, Too

One of the most humbling aspects of attending therapy as a therapist is confronting the same challenges I see in my clients. I’ve had moments of resistance, where I didn’t want to face uncomfortable truths. I’ve felt vulnerable sharing parts of myself that I’d rather keep hidden. And I’ve experienced the relief and growth that comes from being truly seen and supported by another person. These experiences have deepened my empathy for my clients. I know firsthand how hard it can be to show up and do the work, and I never take for granted the trust my clients place in me.

Therapy Is an Ongoing Journey

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that therapy isn’t a one-time fix—it’s an ongoing journey. There’s always more to discover, whether it’s unlearning old patterns, building new skills, or simply creating space to process life’s challenges.

Attending therapy as a therapist has reinforced my belief in the transformative power of this work. It’s not about being “broken” or needing to be “fixed.” It’s about growth, healing, and becoming the best version of yourself.

Why I Share This

I share my experience as both a therapist and a therapy client to normalize the idea that therapy is for everyone—even therapists. Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to your commitment to growth and well-being.

If you’re considering therapy but feel hesitant, I encourage you to take that first step. Whether you’re navigating a specific challenge or simply want to better understand yourself, therapy can be a powerful tool for transformation.

As someone who sits on both sides of the couch, I can confidently say that the work is worth it. Healing takes time, effort, and vulnerability, but it’s one of the most rewarding journeys you’ll ever take.

—Written by Rachel Morris, MA